This was a great exchange between Lewis and Chris Voss. Chris is not just an author of 'Never Split The Difference' - he also worked in the FBI (and the police force) for over 20 years as a top hostage negotiator, working over 150 kidnappings. He now runs a top consulting company and teaches negotiation to graduate students at universities like Harvard and Georgetown. Here are the top five points one should look to implement during any negotiation whether its looking to bring down your energy bills or at the car dealership:
1. Let the other side go first - this will give them the elusion of control.
2. Be sure to stroke their ego. As human beings we are programmed to love being praised. Do this with your opposition and they will love you for it.
3. Ask good questions. Don't act as though you already know. Get them talking. You MUST ask trigger questions where you can then be corrected. Never underestimate the power of letting the other side correct you. For example in a hostage situation, Chris would frequently ask 'how am I supposed to do that?' to the hostage taker when asked to produce a car, a plane or money.
4. Be calm and gentle. This allows the other side to let their guard down. You become an immovable object. Look to throw in long term suggestive propositions to build trust such as 'you and I are going to successful in the future together'.
5. If you EVER hear the other side suggest 'a win-win deal' be on high alert. They are attempting to get you to relax (a great tactic for you to implement against them should you feel you need to).
Finally as a last ditch attempt to get a deal, Chris uses the phrase 'well it seems you are powerless to help me' - this instantly cripples their ego, they then puff their chests out to show they have power in the face of this behind the back insult - give it a shot and let me know how you find it!
For the full podcast check out Lewis's page here.